If you’re asking the question, you’re already in pain. Maybe you’ve been spiraling for months. Maybe the distance is silent but obvious. Or maybe things look fine from the outside — but you’re dying inside. This list isn’t about pushing you toward divorce. It’s about helping you hear yourself clearly.
1. Do You Trust Them With Your Emotional Safety?
If you had a horrible day, would they respond with kindness or criticism? Would they use your vulnerability against you? Trust doesn’t just mean “they won’t cheat.” It means “I’m safe to be human with them.”
2. Are You Still Trying?
Trying doesn’t mean fake smiles or scheduled date nights. It means emotional effort. Do either of you try to fix the damage — or is the silence louder than the shouting ever was?
3. If Nothing Changed, Could You Stay Forever?
This is the gut check. Not “could you survive?” But “could you live well?” Imagine this exact dynamic 5 years from now. How does that feel in your body?
4. Do You Want Them to Change — or Disappear?
Wanting them to change is normal. Wanting them gone but being too afraid, too broke, or too tired to act? That’s a different truth. Name it honestly. Even if you don’t act yet.
5. Are You Still Yourself in This Marriage?
Marriage should grow you — not erase you. If you’ve lost your voice, your laugh, your ambition — ask why. And whether they’d even notice.
6. Would You Want This Marriage for Your Child?
Remove yourself from the equation. If your child described this exact dynamic — the love, the arguments, the silence — would you want them to stay?
7. Are You Avoiding Divorce Because of Fear or Reality?
It’s okay to be afraid. But make sure you’re seeing clearly. Is it really money, custody, religion, shame — or is it that you don’t believe you deserve more? Fear can be managed. Misbeliefs just grow mold.
8. Have You Tried Everything You Respect?
You don’t need to exhaust yourself into codependence. But you may need to try the hard things: therapy, boundaries, radical honesty. Not for them — for your clarity.
9. Are You Mourning the Idea of Divorce or the Reality of the Marriage?
Sometimes we cry not because we’re losing a good thing — but because the dream didn’t work. You’re allowed to grieve that. And still walk away.
Only you know the answer. But you don’t have to find it alone. Splitifi exists to give you space, structure, and support — whether you’re filing tomorrow or still quietly thinking about it.
Use our AI assistant to explore your options, ask hard questions, and prepare — at your own pace, without pressure.
