From Caleb Vance
43 • Portland, OR • Former Stay-at-Home Dad • Self-Represented Litigant
“I thought being a good father would count for something. Turns out, it doesn’t show up on legal forms.”
I was the one who made lunches, ran the carpool, stayed home when the kids were sick. My wife built her career—and I built the household. I never saw myself as lesser. Until I stepped into family court and realized I didn’t exist on paper.
After the separation, everything flipped. She had the lawyer. She had the savings. I had memories—and no access to the bank accounts or medical records I’d managed for years.
Every time I tried to advocate for myself, I was called “angry” or “uncooperative.” All I wanted was time with my kids and a path forward. But the system isn’t designed for someone like me—male, emotional, broke, and outside the power structure.
I couldn’t afford full representation. So I started reading court rules like textbooks. I built spreadsheets of case timelines. And then I found Splitifi.
It was the first time I felt like the playing field leveled. I could upload every missed pickup, every filed motion, every timestamped email—without getting lost in it all.
When I walked into court with my binder and dashboard printouts, the judge actually listened. Not because I was loud. Because I was clear.
Splitifi didn’t make me a lawyer. It made me capable. And when you’ve been erased, that’s a gift.
—Caleb
